come back to me
by fangirling4eva
Summary: when tragedy strikes how will freddie hold up and what would happen if he had never really lost sam rated T for themes of death and suicide
1. Chapter 1

FREDDIE POV:

It all started on a tuesday evening, I was strolling home slowly trudging and dragging my feet. I was taking as long as humanly possible to get back home, we had had a fight earlier and I was sure she would still be mad after all this was sam puckett we were talking about, I sighed heavily as I turned down our road there it was the house that was soon to be the home to hell on earth. As I got closer I frowned surely I was wrong no I wasnt there was an unmistakable stream of thick black smoke pouring out from the house billowing in the cold winter breeze. I froze unable to do anything but gawp.

It took all of about three seconds for me to snap into my sences _sam _I ran racing towards the house screaming her name taken aback by the fierce heat and the ear piercing crakling of the flames so hot they were almost white. Knowing I could nto afford to waste time worrying for myself I sped full pelt at the front door taking it clear of its hinges. Now for the hard part locating me beloved princess puckett in the deception of the clouds around me, I thought practically It was late she would have been upstairs I felt my way blindly until I found the banister crawling upwards attempting to avoid as much smoke as possible, kicking door in as I moved frantically around the landing continuing to call out to her I reached what I assumed was the doorway to our bedroom, but as I stepped towards it I wa met by am almighty bang and a tremendous cloud of dust flew at me like a bird knocking me off my feet leaving me on the floor where I lay dazed gradually losing my stream of consiousness.


	2. Chapter 2

I never had like the smell of hospitals the intese scent of anticeptic burning my eyes with it's strength,the screams and panic as people enter,the rush and bustle of doctors running around trying to calm patients and relatives. Me I was sat there ghost like as if I wasn't really there in the real world but in a place of my own where things smelt fresh and were quiet just me and samantha. We were sat in a vast and fragrant field surronded by dozens of flowers near a stream, lying on our backs gazing up at the clouds laughing and coming up with crazy ideas as to what the clouds looked like happy and content. A sharp pain brought me back to where I really was and I reached up and tenderly touched my newly bandaged head. Wincing I was reminded of why I was really here my girlfriend.

A doctor appeared and summoned me eager as I have ever been I almost sprinted to her room. She looked so delicate and fragile not like the same puckett I knew, I was almost scared to touch her in case she craked and broke like china. The longing for her to awaken and call me her nub so I could respond with "_hello princess puckett_", soon replaced with doubt as to wether she would ever come round the trauma was so bad that I actually worried and for one selfish moment I thought maybe it would be best for her to stay alseep if she was badly damaged would I want to know?. Immediatly I kicked myself for thinking such a thing she was my princess puckett she would always be perfect no matter what i chuckled suddenly thinking of how she would already be doing the kicking for me if she was concious. I jumped at the sound of a voice behind me "_mr benson it is 6 o clock you will have to come back tommorow", _dragging myself from her side i trudged towards the door giving one last longing look in her direction and whispering "_wake up plz for me". _

(_**4 hours later )**_

The last thing I was expecting at 3am was a phonecall yet there it was _ring ring ring ring_ whoever it was was certainly eager. I picked up the phone off the kitchen counter and sleepily spoke in the reciever "_mm hhello wwho is this?"_ suddenly i was wide awake yet deaf to the buzzing off the voice at the other end of the line. I was cracking inside I could feel it a surge of anger swept through me and I threw the phone against the wall letting out an almightly snap as it made impact. The tears filled my eyes as i crumbled to a heap on the floor screaming out to thin air in depseration...


	3. Chapter 3

The days had passed like a blur a semi consious blur sighing I dragged myself from the sofa my limbs heavy as rocks. I stumbled and wavered as if learning to walk for the first time, groggily kicking bottles that hit my path. so distracted by the wave of dizzyness whizzing around in my head that I failed to notice the broken sharred remains of a bottle from it's journey across the room just last night. crying out in pain I collapsed to the floor craddling my foot weeping now silently a burning sensation hit and suddenly as I watched the blood pour from my foot it felt as if my pain was washing away to, from that point it was destined to go wrong.

(3 days later)

I had found my release and I couldn't have been more thankful the alcohol was gone banished from the house I didn't need it. sure the pain factor was higher but the ability to hide it was easier and it cost me no money, and actually it seemed to work alcohol just numbed me and allowed me a few hours to forget but when the barrier it had created faded it hit me 10 times harder. This way didn't make me forget but it was like for every slice I took of my skin a piece of grief or anguish left me with the blood never to return. the regular pang I recieved daily in my heart told me it was time. I made my way upstairs wouldn't want someone to enter the house and see me after all. I reached up on top of the medicine cabinet and took down the blade a hunting knife I had found once on a trip in the woods. carefully selecting the side of my stomach near my hip somewhere no one could see I grazed the blade across until the pain hit then I removed the blade and slid down breathing heavily as the warmth of the blood trickled down me onto the tiles giving in to the faintess that aproached.

(1hour later)

I awoke dazed a throbbing in my side tenderly I touched the searing red wound stretching up to grab a bandage I winced in pain. after having cleaned and bandaged the wound I pulled myself up careful not to stretch my torso too much. The pain was hitting me hard I had obviously cut a bit deeper than normal without realising, but amist this was the fundamental purpose a release sense of escape and a distraction which if the throbbing was anything to go by was working a charm. I ignored the spinning room as I re entered the living room and the faint and distant sound that came from the door a noise that should have been loud and clear mustering up all my energy I flung the door open to be met by "_FREDDIE oh my gosh you look awful I knew I should have come to see you sooner but it's just I thought... _I stood there blankly I knew she was talking but all that I could register was a buzzing and was there always 2 of her? ... _and I mean you give people space when these things happen but clearly I gave too much of it" _finally she stopped to draw a breath. taking me by surprise she grabbed me in an embrace this knocked my already wavering balance and I had to cling to her which being carly she took as my desperation for comfort leading to me being squeezed harder. Eventually she relased me and for a split second I thought I had regained my composure I WAS WRONG. The room filled with carly's screams and I fell into blackness.


	4. Chapter 4

_(3 weeks later)_

I groaned as I rolled around anxiously on the bed. The sweat was pouring off me and the claminess made my clothes stick to my skin, I kicked the duvet off in a desperate attempt to cool down, suddenly a sharp cold breeze hit me I fidgeted my eyes shot open _I didn't leave a window open. _I sat up and scanned the room puzzled and confused, from thin air I head my name _freddie _I shook my head I must be hearing things _over here. _I flickered my eyes back towards the wardrobe squinting in the moonlit room at the ghost like figure who was perched on top of it blonde hair flowing and in an equally as floaty pure white dress _SAM. _

I sat there staring at her in complete awe she merely smiled sweetly, my inner emotions stirred around she moved to the end of the bed and stood on the bedpost without warning I flew at her screaming in anger she just chuckled and watched as i flew straight through her. Hissing in pain I glared up at her _I thought you were meant to be smart ,SHUT UP SAM _I clambered up firing her a look of thunder, she winced slightly at my expression filling me with instant regret _sorry _she wispered before disapearing from my sight.

In the seconds it took me to register what had just happened the realisation of the mistake I had just made hit me. _how could I be so stupid _my angel my princess puckett came to see me and I threw nothing but doubt and anger her way I panicked knowing I had messed up my chance to see her again and that she would probably never come back and I would never see her again.


End file.
